atomic_fungus (atomic_fungus) wrote,

#3530: Today is a bit better.

Yesterday was the pits. How bad was it?

Oh...let's take a look at the bunker's kitchen around 9 PM, when I decided it was time to make some hamburgers for dinner.

There I was, dividing up the meat and trying to make hamburger patties. I'd defrosted it too long in the microwave, so it was kind of gelatinous and a couple bits had cooked. In the process of trying to force the meat into patties I got frustrated, and then started crying.

I mean crying, like a toddler watching his first helium balloon drift off into the blue. A helpless sobbing elicited by the unfairness of the world.

After I'd spent a few minutes of standing by the sink and weeping helplessly, the tears dried up and sanity returned to me. And I said, "Okay, that is it. That's it! I am calling the doc on Monday and telling him I WANT OFF THIS GODDAMNED SHIT AND I WANT OFF IT NOW!

This, after I'd spent the day fighting inchoate anxiety. Even a full tab of Xanax didn't help; it was an awful, awful day and the thing with the hamburger was the proverbial last straw. Not only was it the anxiety; I was having trouble seeing things clearly--blurred vision is another side effect--so I couldn't read. Surfing the Internet got to be too much for me. I'd been chatting with Og about the economic future of the manufacturing sector, and had to beg off further discussion because I just couldn't stand being at the computer any longer.

Turns out that Synthroid modulates serotonin uptake. Guess what my anxiety medication does? (Hint: it's an SSRI.) The Synthroid is basically erasing the effect of the Paxil, so I need Xanax to make up for it, and now the Synthroid is overpowering the Xanax too--and so, here we are.

So I watched Be Kind--Rewind, and decided to watch Ghost Rider after I made dinner, but then I had the episode with the hamburgers.

But after the cry and after dinner I felt a bit better. Talked with Lemonzen a bit, which also helped, and then watched Ghost Rider.

Set the alarm for 8 AM so I could go to church, then went to bed.

Woke up at 9 AM.


...the clock said it was 9 PM when it was 9 AM and the alarm had been set to go off at 8 AM. So of course the alarm didn't go off, and if I'd gotten up right then and jumped in the shower I wouldn't have made it to church before 9:30, halfway through the I just stayed home.

Anyway, when I woke up again, I felt pretty good compared to the last five days. I had half a tab of Synthroid this morning (at 9) and so far I haven't felt too far out of sorts.

But still--I want off this shit. The side effects are just too nasty.

* * *

If you play WoW, this is why you need an authenticator. A hardware authenticator, that is, not an app on your smartphone. Pay the $8 it costs to have Blizz ship you one; you get a special pet that applies to every toon you have or make, to boot. It's worth every penny.

* * *

I agree with Karl Denninger: tablets aren't going to be the death of PCs. Why? Because tablets are better aimed at consuming content than creating it. There are a lot of things you can do with a tablet, but if you want to write a lot of text you really need a keyboard, and it'll be that way for the foreseeable future until and unless someone invents an interface paradigm that obviates it.

Or a program which can do speech-to-text in a natural and easy fashion. (Dragon "Naturally Speaking" is close, but no cigar.)

* * *

Classic SF is the best. Pretty much true.

* * *

Vox Day talks about the issue Ann Barnhardt discussed not long ago, about customer funds being a free-fire zone for the banksters.

Vox Day blockquotes a bigger chunk of her discussion, and then adds his own commentary:
"...the fact remains that a bank deposit is now legally considered no different than a gift from you to the bank, and depositors are now entirely dependent upon the bank's good will to spend its money on their behalf."
Which doesn't help my anxiety any, thanks very much.

* * *

Speaking of the discussion I had with Og yesterday--

He was talking about a bill Obama signed that was supposed to sponsor green investments.
OG: It was supposed to give tax breaks to companies who were doing "green" technology.

me: yeah, okay. that makes sense.
that is, "democrat sense', whcih isn't

OG: But what the wording of the bill was, was "The products must be eco friendly, or have "Eco" in their tradenames"

me: oho
'New FANUC eco-5000!" same as the X-5000 but now 100% more eco-friendly!
...because we stuck a "eco" label on it

OG: Almost exactly like that, only they didn't use sarcasm.
And I LOL.

But I sobered in a hurry because manufacturing is down, both here and abroad, and the economy ain't looking too good as it is. So even those who sell, set up, install, and service industrial machine tools are looking down the road and not liking what they're seeing.

* * *

Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML
Oh, come on. Surely "plunder yer booty" would be a better line than "slay your pussy", wouldn't it?

* * *

I really enjoyed Ghost Rider, by the way. That was a good movie.

* * *

Well, it's been nine hours since I took the Synthroid, and only now am I starting to feel anxious. This is progress.

Definitely going to get off this shit.

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