atomic_fungus (atomic_fungus) wrote,

#3618: Clyde Tombaugh lays down the bitchsmack.

Lemonzen and I were talking Sunday night about planets. We were laying there listening to Tomita's version of Holst's The Planets and then she asked me if Pluto was a planet.

I told her about the whole stupid "plutoid" thing, and then started in on a riff:
I can just see Clyde Tombaugh standing up there in heaven by the pearly gates with a baseball bat. "Oh, just wait until they get here. Just wait!"

Saint Peter says to him, "Hey, Clyde...don't you think you're overreacting?"

"Hell no! Do you know how much effort it took me to discover Pluto? And those little crapheads go and reclassify it as a non-planet and have to make up a new word to describe it?

"I sat in the freezing cold night after night after night. I didn't have any frickin' CCDs; I had to use film, and I had to be very careful about exposure time to boot! I wasn't sitting in a warm control room sipping mocha lattes and relaxing! I was freezing my ass off on a mountaintop!

"And further--when it came time to compute the orbit I couldn't just punch the data into a computer; hell no! I had to use a slide rule, bitches!"
At this point, then, Lemonzen just about went into hysterics. I tried to continue ("Paper and pencil and a freaking slipstick! That's right!") but her mirth got me laughing and I couldn't.

Don't clobber me, Clyde; I'm on your side. I think Pluto should be a planet.

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