Understand, I am a very light sleeper. There have been many times I've cursed that fact (like last year when I was in the ER and then the mental ward) but I don't think I'm going to do that any more, because today it saved me from wrecking the Jeep and possibly myself.
Last night I went to bed at 7 PM, and actually fell asleep and slept. I woke up before the alarm, but not a lot before, and got up on time such that I could leave the bunker at 4:15 on the tick. Stopped for gas...and the first clue I had that I was still dead tired came when I forgot to put the gas cap on and close the fuel door. I was standing in front of the pump, waiting for my receipt, wondering what was bothering me...then I saw the fuel door.
"Oh," I thought. I took care of that, grabbed my receipt, recorded mileage, and then got going.
Just west of town, past the high school where the streetlights stop, it gets dark. There's one more 35 speed limit sign right where it feels like the limit ought to go up to 40, and I remember seeing that one.
I don't remember seeing the 40 sign. I do remember suddenly seeing the Sheriff's station, because its bright lights are what woke me up. It's maybe a quarter mile, probably less; it's a straight road and there were no cars. The Jeep tracks straight, so when I came back to wakefulness I didn't have to correct my trajectory.
It took a few seconds for me to figure out what had just happened, and after I did I pulled off the road and considered my options. Finally I decided that it wasn't worth it, turned around, went home, and called off.
I then slept for eight more hours.
This is why I say, "Maybe this isn't going to work." I don't think I can perform at the level I need to in order to do this job. Jumping right from not working for three years into a job that requires at least five ten-hour days in a row of physical labor--I could have done it when I was half the age I am now, but being so exhausted that I have to call off on my third day of work just does not bode well.
It's not exactly going to impress my boss, either.
All I can do is all I can do. I'm going to keep at it tomorrow and Friday and see how things go; I'm going to slow way the hell down and work slower. I don't need to move a box every 15 seconds; I can move a box every 30 seconds and still make goal. Move a box, relax a bit.
Also, this day off will help, too. I should be in better trim tomorrow.
In the worst case, no one is going to be upset if I can't do this job...except me.