atomic_fungus (atomic_fungus) wrote,

#3695: It smells like the holidays in the bunker!

Why? Because I'm making turkey stock, that's why!

The bird I roasted on Sunday was just the breast section--no back, wings, legs, thighs--so after a few days of sandwiches I've run out of harvestable meat on the carcass. The obvious solution was to spend about ten minutes paring off the last of the meat that can profitably be removed, and then filling a soup pot full of water and boiling the thing.

An onion, a couple stalks of celery, a couple of carrots--otherwise, just the carcass and water. Bring to a boil, then reduce heat and simmer for a couple of hours. Remove all solids with a slotted spoon and allow it to cool overnight; then reduce the stock by simmering for a couple more hours. I'll probably get a quart or so of turkey stock out of this, which I can then freeze and use for whatever I care to.

And of course it smells like Mom's out there making turkey stock. How nostalgic.

* * *

Another occupational hazard of being a messiah, besides being nailed to a tree, is having a figurine of you dropped into a jar of urine. Or "yellow water" since I doubt Glenn Beck actually saved a week's worth of piss to do this.

Still, anything that makes liberals' heads all 'splody is good enough for me.

* * *

If the writers and editors at the New York Times actually took the time to learn about Catholicism, they wouldn't be able to maintain their cherished belief in the caricature they have of the religion. That's the problem with learning the truth about something you hate; you can't continue to hate it with incandescent fury if you learn that all the warts and bumps you imagined it having are figments of your imagination.

Related: liberal learns that Ann Coulter isn't a hateful hatebag.

* * *

To save a doomed species, we cripple our timber industry and shoot other species of owls.

...the same people who believe in evolution through natural selection are trying to prevent it from working. Yeah. The spotted owl is being out-competed and there's nothing that can be done about it, but we're going to spend billions of dollars trying to save them from extinction.


* * *

Obama still wants cap-and-tax for US industry, but he's acting to protect US airlines from European carbon taxes. No, I don't understand it.

* * *

Politicians in Hungary are calling for a list of prominent Jews in the country. Greece has been rioting pretty much for the last two years over austerity cuts. Spain and Italy are circling the same bankruptcy drain. France just lowered the retirement age for some workers to 62, while Germany—the country that pays off the rest of the Eurozone’s credit cards—raised theirs to 67.
Yeah, Europe.

* * *

Jewish Law is pretty specific about circumscision.

...and yeah, this is a song that's been sung about a billion times. Jews endure hardship, Jews obey God, Jews come out of hardship, Jews get decadent, Jews begin disobeying God, God punishes Jews, repeat.

* * *

California police would rather you be raped quietly, rather than defend yourself. Oh, wait--did I say "raped"? I meant robbed.

...and what's the difference?

* * *

The timing may or may not be right, but the collapse is going to come sooner or later. From here I fail to see how it cannot; all pyramid schemes collapse eventually even if government is running them.

* * *

Uh...lots of these products aren't anything like new.

#3 Secret drawer: "This is a cheap alternative for storing little pieces of jewellery and cash." Not new.

#5 Semi automatic fruit peeler: "This handle apple peeler makes it easy to peel apples. You can even shave off apple skins with just one hand." Not new. They were making these gizmos in the nineteenth century.

#6 Lazy glasses: "These lazy glasses allow you to read in bed or watch TV while you are lying flat on your back." Not new.

#8 Extra wide rear-view mirror: "With this extra wide rear-view mirror, drivers can expand their field of view to 180 degrees." Not new.

Have these assholes never heard of Harriet Carter? All these items have been in their catalogue for decades.

From a list of dry humor quotes (my own and others) compiled while I still worked at Rockwell-Collins:
37) Quoth Ian Shoales: “Parade magazine has a column called inside this week. Dotcom. How quaint. The column calls our attention to new products we might be interested in purchasing. The time I checked this column out, the products endorsed were an amplified telephone, a universal ac adapter, and a CD storage case. O brave new world that has such products in it. Let me whip out that credit card.”
He said it best.

O brave new world that has such products in it! Let me whip out that credit card!


  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.