atomic_fungus (atomic_fungus) wrote,
atomic_fungus
atomic_fungus

#3852: The second ever Fungus guest post, written by Mrs. Fungus.

Mrs. Fungus forwarded the following e-mail to me last week, and then opined that it read like a blog post. I asked her if she wanted me to put it up here, and she said it was fine, so here it is, in its unedited entirety.

Please note that while the editorial staff of Atomic Fungus does not necessarily endorse the views in this post, it is smugly satisfied by them.


Yah...I guess. I have to work today so here I am.

The trip we took was fun! The Abbey is a very beautiful place and it is BIG! I took some pictures that I have to upload to send you of the resort and the Volo museum when I am at home.

The resort had 3 pools. An indoor and a outdoor and then a special spa located pool that only people who used the spa could use or you could pay a additional 50 “resort fee” to have access to it. I could have used the spa pool because I did get a spa service but they closed on Sunday at 6:00 and the other indoor pool was open until 11:00 so I wasn’t going to pay an additional 50 to have Ed have access to the “special pool” for an hour. Not worth it!

So! We called early Sunday morning because if you call you can get an early check in if your room is available and they said it would be ready for us by 3:00, check in was at 4:00 and my spa appointment was at 4:00 so I was happy to get into the room early. We had a harbor view room with a king bed. It was very nice with high ceilings and the bed and bedding were amazing! The bed and pillows were so comfortable that I actually did the UNTHINKABLE! I didn’t realize it until after we got home and I had a sneaking suspicion that something was wrong that I couldn’t quite put my finger on it but finally when it dawned on me I almost burst into tears.

My FAVORITE pillow, the one I take with me anytime I stay anywhere else… I left it there!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ed called the hotel to try and get it back but they never called back. L

Anyway, I digress. So next up! The spa!

I had opted for a aromatherapy massage. It was big bucks let me tell you but I really wanted a nice service. The spa itself was huge! When I checked in she handed me a key and gave me a code (I still don’t know what the code was for maybe the pool area?) And told me to go get in a robe and sit in the circular room with the fireplace and they would come get me. I took off all my clothes except for my panties and just barely got the robe around my boobs so they weren’t hanging out and went to wait in that room. I was nervous that I didn’t go to the right area because I will say it again, this place was a maze! I had to ask two other women where to go get my robe and they pointed me in the right area and looked at me like I was some kind of hick with a piece of hay sticking out of my teeth.

They asked me when I booked it if I had a gender preference and I said no so of course I got a little guy who had a “little sugar in his tank” if you know what I am saying. He let me choose from three scents that were lotions. Peppermint, Currant (I think) and Lavender. I chose Lavender. I was a little disappointed that all the aromatherapy consisted of was scented lotion. I was expecting different oils but then again what do I know about these things?

In any case, he gave a good massage and had strong fingers and I liked it. But next time I think that I will get a facial or something. When I checked out of the spa and paid for the service I gave a 20.00 tip which I think was fair and then bought a bottle of conditioner and was a little taken back when I realized the hour in the spa cost more than one night in our room!

After my spa service I got lost trying to get back to the room and walked in one complete circle before asking a maid for help. Too bad she didn’t call out “Trabajo!!!!” to her coworkers like the Luxor maids! J

After dinner we went to one of the resort restaurants called the Fontana grill. We had a couple to choose from but this one boasted “The finest Seafood, Steaks and Chops in the area” and it was his Birthday dinner so I wanted him to have something good. We both decided to order ribeyes ordered Medium Rare. We also ordered salads with it and I got a wedge that looked like it was put together by a crazy person because it was this really, really fancy thing and I pretty much scraped most of the stuff off of it and just ate the lettuce and blue cheese. He got a regular dinner salad that had a weird beet chip on it and like nothing else. It looked like a bowl of weeds.

When our steaks came they were too well done. I told him I was ending mine back and Ed was relived because he wanted to send his back too but didn’t want to say anything. He has NEVER sent food back to a restaurant! Heck, the stupid things were 30 bucks a piece so they better be cooked the way we want them. I think we were also on the brave side since I have Kitchen Nightmares set to tape on the DVR and we usually watch Chef Ramsey in 5 hour increments so we were laughing and telling each other in Ramsey’s voice “You can’t SERVE this! It’s supposed to be Medium Rare!!!!!! No! No! No!”

Tee hee!

After we got our steaks Ed got up to go use the restroom and I finally had a chance to go after the server. “Please! Do you have a candle somewhere!?” She confirmed that she did and went off to find a candle to put in his key lime pie. I think I blew the surprise though because I nonchalantly brought the camera out to look at pictures that we already took and Ed was like; “Why is the camera out? What is going to happen!?” Anyway, it wasn’t bad just me and the one waitress sang Happy Birthday, they didn’t drag out the kitchen staff to sing and bang pots together or anything.

After dinner we watched Game of Thrones on HBO. The resort uses Direct TV and we had a horrible picture. We had decided earlier that we would keep the same room though because the view was so nice and Ed said “I am comfortable here.” Anyway, we knew that our DVR at home was taping the show so we can watch it again on a proper screen.

After the show? Off to the pool! The indoor pool had windows from floor to ceiling so we had the chance to watch a major thunderstorm while swimming. So nice!

We also played a game. There was a basketball hoop in the pool and we decided to shoot hoops. Except Ed invented a new game. It was called “Don’t throw the ball OUTSIDE of the pool!” My poor honey is so tall that every time he went to throw the ball in the hoop it would sail over the hoop and outside of the pool so we had to keep getting out of the water to retrieve the ball. Well, mostly he got out of the water. I fetched it twice but then after that it was him. J

We swam up until the pool was about to close and then made it back to the room. It is too bad that I didn’t see the little sign that offered to send drinks to the pool area. It would have been nice to have a couple of cocktails and see if maybe that would make Ed throw a little better.

After that we went to a little sundry store and got some snix-snacks to much on and then went back to the room where I proceeded to eat my leftover steak in caveman fashion with my hands. Then after a bop under the sheets (KING beds are awesome!) we ended our day.

The NEXT day I woke up really wanting to stay another night. I had Tuesday off so we totally could have done it if we wanted without a time restriction. Ed said that he wanted to stay another night just so he could sleep for another 5 hours and then we could go to the museum the next day but then we decided against it. I didn’t want to go to Volo and then drive all the way home and then go to work the next day. Also I didn’t want to pay for the room just to sleep so we got ready and ordered room service which prompted another Ramsey impression since my biscuits were as hard as stones.

We left the room (WITHOUT MY PILLOW! GAH!) and took the ride out to the Volo museum where we saw many nice cars and paid 30 bucks for a Pina Colada and a Margarita in the food court. (I think we were so shocked at the price that neither of our brains worked enough to decline the drinks. In fact Ed confirmed that the drinks really were that much since beer was like 4 bucks. He was informed that the drinks were that much, but “Oh they come in a souvenir cup!” Plastic crap with a Volo sticker on it. Be still my beating heart.

I sucked mine down and Ed nursed his a bit and we took some nice pictures. They had the Speed racer car, the Ghostbusters car and other various movie cars that weren’t quite the way they were in the movies. Ed pointed out that the Ghostbusters car should have different strobe lights on the top. He always is able to pick stuff up like that. Very detail oriented my husband! J

We drove home and stopped for Sushi at our favorite place but unfortunately there was only one guy doing all the duties except cooking so service was slooooooow and I was losing patience since I was a little sunburned and worn out so once we got back home we vowed to go right to bed but I couldn’t sleep at all and was all wound up for the rest of the night. Ed had to plead with me to go to sleep because I was obviously tired but didn’t want to sleep without my pillow so I was putting off going to bed. Oh well! I have been looking for another pillow and ordered one from Amazon that apparently lets you put water in it.

Anyway that was our time! I will send you some pictures very soon. How is YOUR day?

I note here without irony that I had trouble getting the ball in the hoop because I suck at basketball, not because of my height.
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