atomic_fungus (atomic_fungus) wrote,
atomic_fungus
atomic_fungus

#386: Dumb Spam



SO let's get cracking!

Immense gains on frankfurt! says "Leanna sterley". I'm not sure what this is. Is it a stock tip or a penis enlargement device? I'm afraid to find out.

SuSE is a registered trademark of SuSE AG. warns "Taveen Disney". She'd better hire a lawyer because her last name is also a registered trademark! She's in trouble! Mickey Mouse (TM REGISTERED TRADEMARK OF DISNEY INCORPORATED AND YOU OWE THEM $0.05 JUST FOR READING IT) will send "the boys" after her!

best value says "friend". Oh, my friend! You are my one and only friend! And you prove it by sending me spam! You are my brother! (...or sister. Whatever.)

"Vickers" seems to think that the "Truth in Advertising" act applies to spam, which is why his subject line, agitate foreigner, is eponymous!

"Edith P. Fontenot", who clearly is an upper-crusty high-society type, tells me how I can diminish bitterness. It's not enough that she's richer than me, but now she's telling me that I'm too bitter! I'm sure in her lofty world of filet mignon and clean underwear she's got all the time in the world to worry about being too bitter! But where I live, it's a struggle just to remain bitter and not become cynical as well!

And finally, "Castillo" is warning me that THE NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE HAS ISSUED A LAKE WIND ADVISORY. HEY, CASTILLO, THEY ISSUED IT BECAUSE YOU ARE SHOUTING ON THE INTERNET! SHUT UP AND LEAVE ME ALONE, YOU PENIS! I HATE YOU!

Ahh, now I feel better.
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