atomic_fungus (atomic_fungus) wrote,
atomic_fungus
atomic_fungus

#3894: There is no porn in Sugarland. (Yes, there is.)

Mrs. Fungus wanted me to sing her a song last night. My first two attempts didn't suit her ("Falling" and "The 8th Day: Mourning" by Solitude Aeternus were not what she was looking for), so I began making up a song about Sugarland.
The trees are chocolate cookies
The leaves are spun sugar
The rivers are molasses
...while singing in my imitation "Mary from Hell's Kitchen" voice.
There was actually a lot more to it than that, but since I was already fighting sleep when we went to bed, I can't really remember any of it. Hell, I'm impressed that I remembered this crap at all.

But what I do remember was when Mrs. Fungus sang, "There's no porn there!" And I immediately replied, in a gruff, deep voice, "Yes there is!"

Then I went on in the Mary voice about how the bunnies masturbate and ejaculate rainbows and flower petals:

Click for the reference.

...which led Mrs. Fungus to laugh uproariously, pummel me, and tell me I'm horrible.

We really do have some weird conversations, but at least they amuse us.

* * *

In the same vein, Mrs. Fungus asked me never to sing the "Curry Taco Song" in front of our kids:
A curry taco! A curry taco!
A curry taco for your gut!
A curry taco! A curry taco!
It's gonna shoot out of your butt!

A curry taco! A curry taco!
It's gonna cause you some distress
A curry taco! A curry taco!
The bathroom's gonna be a mess!

(bridge)

A curry taco! A curry taco!
Even though it's made of meat
A curry taco! A curry taco!
The reaction won't be neat!
This discussion came about when I added another verse:
A curry taco! A curry taco!
There's really nothing you can do
A curry taco! A curry taco!
It is gonna make you poo!
While we are not "expecting", we do believe it's on the dance card sometime, and Mrs. Fungus would like our hypothetical children to have a shot at having the normality their parents are, sadly, lacking.

I keep trying to tell her that our kids are already screwed, but she's the optimistic one.

* * *

The cool weather seems to be over. I had to turn on the AC this morning because it was simply too warm in our bedroom. Yesterday and Thursday I awoke in a pleasantly cool room, but today--

* * *

If life gives you no snap caps for your man-portable howitzer, make your own, like Og.

I say "howitzer" because the gun is a .500 caliber double and the rounds reportedly cost about $17 apiece. Guns seem to be like rocket engines; the cost of the expendables goes up asymptotically as a function of diameter.

That isn't as bad, though, as what you have to pay for Gyrojet ammo. Seems you can get six rounds for a mere $1,000, which is a snip at $165 per round.

Og and I were talking about that, and he theorized that he could probably make Gyrojet ammo in bulk for about $4 per round if he really wanted to. The casings would be pressed out of sheet brass. Fill the nose with lead, let it cool, add propellant, then press in the rear bulkhead which includes the primer boss and nozzles. Add primer, and you're done.

The Gyrojet gun itself is basically made of pot metal because very little of the gun has to be able to withstand mechanical loads. The trigger mechanism and the associated hardware has to be reasonably robust, but the rest of it can be whatever you have on hand. Wood would do, even for the barrel (though it would tend to...erode with use).

The fact is, Gyrojet is a neat idea but not very practical, which is why there are so few of them around. You could make ammo for the things for a tiny price, but you'd sit on your inventory for a long time. That's why no one is making it.

* * *

I don't have anything else to talk about right now. Guess this is going to have to do....
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